Last week, I noticed that the spider had grown to twice its original size, and so had the web. I was starting to brush it with my head when I walked through the doorway too close to one side. When the bottommost support strand twanged against my ear, I got irked, shooed the spider off its web and burned the web. It huddled up in a corner of the door frame, thinking spidery thoughts, probably hating. The next day when I woke up, he had rebuilt the web. It was bigger this time, and the strands seemed thicker. I went out to do stuff. When I came back, I chased him off and burned the web, wondering if spiders could learn things like "Building webs in doorways causes webs to get burned." It happened twice more, the web getting more and more ambitious.

Today morning (yesterday), I opened my door and a spider almost hit me in the face, half of a web slinging it madly around in the air currents. It had built its web partially connected to my doorknob. Gaaah. That was too much. I destroyed the web and stood for a moment, wondering how I should kill the spider. I wondered what the spider was thinking. It was, at this point, huddled on the side of the doorframe. For some reason, I could not being myself to kill it. I closed my door and left the house.

Just now, I came home from wandering the U District, and there was the beginning structure of a spiderweb, stretching over the entire upper half of my doorway. It would have been the biggest web I have ever seen, save the one in "Arachnophobia" which the monster spider built. Spiders either don't understand about doorways, don't learn very fast, or are smartasses. I burned the web, glared at the spider, lighter in hand, and went into my room. The spider followed me in the doorway and is now sitting on the top of the doorframe, just inside.

I'm going to kill it now, because I don't share my room with spiders.

I'm absolutely certain that I hate waiting for sample conversion when nothing interesting is going on. My favorite line in this song is "It's time to find your own ass with both hands." Hee hee. The songs I don't release to the band are the funny ones. Next time I am asked to write a system maintenance script, that line is going in there somewhere as a comment.