RECYCLE COKE

23:41

Yech!:

In the dentist chair, as the dentist drilled three teeth in prep for "triple spill" fillings, I spent my time finding distracting shapes in the acoustic tiling ceiling. Starting out, when the anaesthetic was fresh and the drilling was fairly odorless and painless, I found letters and tried spelling out words with adjacent shapes. As the drilling became deeper and louder, and the scent of burning something reached my nostrils, I stopped finding letters and found pictures instead. These started out fairly normal ("Pac-man. Spider. Mount Fuji.") and got more surreal as the drilling became more distracting ("A caterpillar smoking a cigar. A duck with a jet pack instead of wings. A squid with a blender for a body.") and when the numbness had pretty much worn off and she was still drilling they all became pretty much the same thing ("Chicken McNugget, Chicken McNugget, Chicken McNugget.").

Taking a shower and thinking about getting old. I will get old and die. Well, maybe I won't get old, but I will certainly die, and probably sooner than expected. I'm not afraid of being dead; in fact, as I walked to the dentist today I considered the concept of being dead as quite attractive. It's closure, for sure. No worries, no unpleasantness, ever. No nothing. Of course, to die now would be to run out on everybody that is expecting me to be around, but for every time from now on that I am expected to be there. The ultimate diss. I'm impatient, sure, but I don't expect everything in the world to happen on my schedule. I can tolerate pretty much anything, if I know it's for a finite amount of time. And really, it's definately going to be finite. (finitely?)

Suuuuicide. I've heard it from many familiar mouths. Maddening. I mean, I know your life might be extremely horrible, yeah. Much worse than anything I can imagine. Will it last forever? And how the hell do YOU know, asshole? Impatient, selfish, and lazy. Not unworthy, just unwilling. hzgzzzz stop waiting for someone else to fix you

stop waiting! Aren't you tired of waiting for fucking nothing? ("bluh bluh waiting to die bluh bluh") Multitask, then.

( -- ignorant youth, speaking from a comfortable chair, in a desirable location)

Two shows coming up. one on 18th, one on 28th.

I didn't one day suddenly decide to be a yuppie with lots of money. I never grew up all at once. I don't feel like I have to hide what I used to be so I can be what I want to be. Right now, anyway. Maybe when I want to be a homeless punk with street cred, I will feel like that.

It took 2 hours real time. 1 second real time = 10 perceived minutes dental drill rasping away at tooth time. I think I had a name for every Chicken McNugget on the whole ceiling. After a while I was comforted by the thought that I was in relative comfort, and if I ever got burned over my entire body and had to have shreds of dead, charred flesh torn away from my wounds, I would think of today fondly.

After decades of your pain, this will seem like a memory of Heaven. -- FLA sample, exact wording unknown by me

Andr00 fixed the cams.