• 1:20 AM
  Thanks for the beef jerky, mom

Tonight, I don't want to do anything but drink lots of water. Okay, maybe milk, too. It's not especially warm, but I'm overheating. I didn't work overly long or miss out on sleep, but I was tired all day. It's as if time, today, had more friction than usual, rusting metal and eroding rocks more quickly. Especially making Andrew tired and thirsty for no reason.

Maybe all that kayaking over the weekend was more strenuous than it seemed at first. I wrote a bunch about the experience, on my trusty-rusty purple/dusty laptop. Of course, my laptop's at work and I'm at home. I didn't have time at work to do any recreational postery.

Ah yes, actually it was kind of a busy day at work. Not only that, but I had to take off in the middle of the day for a consultation at the oral/maxillofacial surgeon to see about removing the last two removeable teeth in my mouth (I think). After these are gone, the strategy is to get braces, brace the fuck out of every tooth until it is where it is supposed to go, and then put titanium tooth roots down into my jawbone in the spaces, capping them with plain old thousand dollar crowns. Time frame for this is 3 years, as it will take 1.5 to 2 years just for the bracing. Money frame is around, oh, I dunno. It's hard to imagine. $20,000? That sounds about right.

All these dentist visits, so close together, are having an effect like prolonged exposure therapy. I get less anxious about each visit, the more I go. At least, about the nameless-dread aspect. I get more anxious about the money aspect. Because my fear of dentists has, at its root, bad experiences at the hands of, uh, "Preferred care providers", let's say. Okay, let's also say, "the dentists that will cost the insurance company the least". So I don't spare any expense.

The technological range from dentist to dentist is extreme. The most expensive thing I buy this year will be care for my mouth. The clinics are all state-of-the art. Digital X-rays, air abrasion, man I've never even heard of "intentional reimplantation," but my endodontist is familiar with it. And then at the other end of the range IN THE SAME DOWNTOWN BUILDING it's like the damn flintstones, pile of little metal hooks and a mechanical chair.

Insurance? Oh, I have insurance - the highest level of dental insurance available to me. It's great, since I was previously paying everything out of pocket at time of procedure. Nothing like being half numb, half in pain, and writing a check for $1300 to really complete the experience of American outpatient health care. Now I get to make payments... and insurance pays some of the bill. Of course I'll be maxing out my benefit right away for the next 3 years, but that's $6K I can spend on feeling sorry for myself presents later.

Whew! Still hot! But my water's done filtering. Time to have cold one (glass of water).