"What have you been developing lately?"	Translation
"I've been busy doing code for work."	"I'm not doing shit because I'm inefficient."
"I'm doing research to decide what my next big project will be."	"I'm not doing shit because I'm wishy washy."
"Oh, lots of little things."	"I'm not doing shit, period."
"I don't want to give up my free time right now."	"I'm not doing shit because I'm lazy."
"I can't find any good books on _____, so I can't get started."	"I'm not doing shit because I'm inefficient, wishy washy, lazy , stupid, and ugly to boot."

Right now there is a post it note on my Sun's monitor that says "You aren't doing shit!". It's meant to act as a reminder that living from day to day for whatever accomplishes the same thing that it always has; that is, get you to the next day alive. Big deal; everyone does that. People make grandiose plans, spend their whole lives waiting for the right thing to happen TO them, waiting until they REALLY FEEL READY, waiting until this certain thing has to happen so they can get going. I'm waiting, too. It's because I am lazy. I feel so much inertia when I try to start moving that I stall out like some flimsy 3v motor and whine that I feel tired, headachey, distracted, or any of a million other things that everyone else experiences on a full time basis throughout their productive time on Earth.

I have started regimenting my activities to bring a little mental discipline into play. This Wednesday posting would be an example. I think I can keep this up indefinately. This is my goal. I will post on Wednesday. If I can follow that one rule, I will post every wednesday until I die. Other disciplines that need to be applied concern freetime coding projects. I've been flaking out on those with the raggedy-ass excuse that I'm burned out from work coding. When I examine the coding projects more closely, I see how thin this excuse has worn. The projects are completely different. Finally, if I only work on coding projects when I'm not working on work programming and I "feel like it", when is it going to get done? Never. I'm doing it now.

I'm thinking about joining Kung-Fu class. Kris has started a few weeks ago. He attends tomorrow. Maybe it will help me discipline my mind and body. Pluses: can put "Kung-Fu Master" on resume, finally. Minuses: Probably involves standing in a horse stance for days at a stretch.